Happy or Sad !!!

A friend asked me to think about both the happiest day of my life. I have to admit it took me a while to think about happy days. It is not like I’ve been sad, but lately I feel like I’ve been on automatic pilot and feeling rather indifferent about life in general. Is that a bad thing? I wondered if there was something wrong with me…and the fact that I could not recall a day in the last few months where I felt “happy.”

Maybe there was a happiness drought in Canada. Statistics do show that one in four Canadian is suffering from depression. But even higher rates are living unhappy lives.

I am in relationship, great friends, a stable job and good health…why wasn’t I staticly happy? I couldn’t help but think about all those poor people in Africa …they only had enough food for one meal a day but I wondered if they were happy? At times they looked happier than people here in Canada.

An African woman said Africans did not suffer from depression or anxiety (western diseases she said) because of the strong family connections. Many Africans live at home until they get married, but many more live with their extended families in the same house or town. She said Westerners were very selfish…and that selfishness led them to live alone and isolate themselves from the community. And that cause depression. I wondered what she would think of the gay community? did that count?

She had a point. My happiest memories revolve around being with family…being with important people in my life..people I love…and to a certain extent I’ve always felt a degree of loneliness in Canada...a lack of connection…and a lack of family….

I have isolated incidences of feeling disconnected being away from my family. but i am reminded of the choice that i made and the freedom and quality of life that i truly want. its a tradeoff and i feel i am much happier now.

After our talk, I looked up at the sky and felt the winter air…a beautiful winter day…and definately a happy day.

PrettySweetBoy