Sex or the relationship ....

They say communication is one of the most important things in relationships although some people (specially many gay men) would argue that sex is more important.

So what is the key to good communication?

My friend Mel is having a dilemma, balancing sex and the development of a relationship. The ultimate egg versus chicken question... which comes first... sex or the relationship? For many of us , a relationship starts off with sex. We hook up ... go for a test drive then decide if we like the guy and which to proceed further... usually involving more sex. They say men are sexual creatures ... that is how they express feelings, show love ... through good old fashioned fucking.

Women on the other hand.. connection emotionally with a man before starting a relationship. If the feelings are not there ... there is no sex. But most men usually put out on the first date so it can complicate things. if the sex is good .. it raises the stakes. If the sex is bad, it can kill any prospect for a relationship. So much emphasis is put on sex in most gay relationships.

So what happens once you are in the relationship and there is no longer sex. Can you have or is it always one or the other? Can you have the relationship and the sex? Most of us want both. Sex is important to most people, especially to gay men.Most of us have been able to differentiate between sex and love. We can have sex without love and it seems many are having love without the sex.

I always assumed that sex was just an expression of love... therefore if there is love ... there will be sex. But many examples pf sex less relationships have nullified this theory. Sex is a barometer of relationship... no sex... there is probably something wrong... especially with two gay guys... maybe your partner is having sex but just not with you ... no attraction? Clearly there is an issue there ....

PrettySweetBoy