Can you have love without sex? Sex without love?

I have a love and hate relationship with sex. I enjoy it, want it and cannot live without it. At the same time it causes me feelings of guilt, leaves me feeling empty and creates emotional confusion. They say women release a hormone when they are having sex which makes them emotionally attach to the person they are having sex with. Many men seem to be able to separate sex from emotion. This is something that I learned with my first gay sex experience. I thought sex was love and had my heart broken by my first sexual partner.I quickly learned to separate the two…now the problem is that I have completely detached myself from any emotion during sex. It has become a purely carnal and physical act…free of any emotion and intimacy. So sex is not love. But can you have love without sex?

Sex is all around us in KL: online, on the bus, at clubs and bars, in the gym and in parks. The Catholic nuns taught me in school that gay sex was a sin, dirty and practiced only by paedophiles. The priests had gay sex which actually made it dirty and a paedophile activity. As a gay man, I learned that sex was the way to validate myself, get men’s attention and get close to other gay men.This is an issue that many gay men deal with…this is especially true for Norwegians who have the highest rate of casual sex in the world (is this why I secretly love Norway?).

My friend has been sexless by choice for the last three months. Over the weekend, he met a very cute guy . Things got pretty hot and heavy and he decided to go home with this guy. He was very attracted to him, yet he could not bring himself to have casual sex with him. He enjoys sex but in the past casual sex ends up leaving him feeling empty.My friend was asking for my advice on the subject of casual sex. My story was very similar to his... I was actually starting to give up on the idea of casual sex for the same reason. I was really over sleeping with guys whose names I did not know and whose faces I would never see again. In the past, I had used sex to feel attractive and validate myself. Growing up meant, I no longer felt the need to shag like a rabbit and was now trying to get that emotional connection and intimacy back in sex.The problem is that old habits are hard to break. Italian scientists say they have discovered that the biochemical state of having sex while in love is similar to obsessive compulsive disorder.

According to the London Times, “the yearning of couples to be together and learn about each other in intimate detail is overwhelming.” So sex plus love equals a good trip on drugs! According the scientists, "sex is more mutual when we are in love, as we can expect to feel emotional fulfilment.” Now that sounds like total validation!

PrettySweetBoy