Reality Bites

Last night I met with the boys for a bit of midweek catch up on the long weekend. It had been an eventful weekend for all. There were dates to discuss, upcoming holidays and sex tales! Our talk somehow got serious… honesty and gay relationships. In an age when everyone is out of the closet and being gay is so passé, how honest are we with ourselves?That was the question that my friend Pat posed to the group. We all had to answer using a scale from one (very dishonest) and ten (very honest). Most of us answered somewhere in between. Maybe we were all answering the question dishonestly. There were no ten answers. I said seven or eight but in reality and in all honesty, I was more of a three or four.Our little truth or dare got me thinking...about my own honesty. I am out to my family, to my work mates and to my friends. Reality does indeed bite. Honesty is tough to come by…especially in the gay world. When everything is virtual and anonymous: cyber sex, cyber relationships, bloggin...it is hard to be and feel the real you. It is hard to say things like: I am lonely. I’m a sex addict. I fear intimacy. I want to be loved. Dating and relationships can be like a long spinning class. You pedal and pedal but you never go anywhere. What is worst is that we pretend to move but in reality we end up right where we started.Honesty in gay relationships can be a challenge. Many of us still have to hide the truth to others. In hiding the truth to others, we may hide the truth to ourselves. We learned from an early age to lead a double life, one gay and one straight. At times, we had to wear masks to hide the real and true person beneath. These are habits that are hard to change.Pat is very comfortable and honest with himself, his emotions and his feelings. Something refreshing and something to work towards! How honest are you?

PrettySweetBoy