What the heart wants ...

DVD marathon last nite, I came across an episode of big brother where gay housemate David was discussing his sexuality with the other female housemates.

David, once an international model who reportedly have had trysts with other models such as Kate Moss, now lives in the rural region of Australia as an organic farmer. He made headlines a couple of months ago when he came out on the reality television series, a revelation that was well-received by his fellow housemates. Lately though, there have been questions brewing about the truthfulness of his homosexuality, both inside and outside of the house. On last nite's show, David confessed to being offended when people asked about the possibility of him being straight since his coming out experience has been quite hard and, at times, traumatic. He wanted those he had told to know that it was for real. He admitted that at times he has made some comments about being attracted to other females. In particular, fellow housemate Claire whom he finds stunning and beautiful, which might have thrown others off. His attraction to Claire, according to David, stems from his need to please his family, as she is someone ideal who would fit in well with them. Someone who they would love to see him with to possibly start a family of his own. But he knows that this is something he would, and could, no longer pursue. regardless, his family, who all know he is gay, is supportive of whatever decisions David makes.in very much the same way, David's sentiments are exactly my own.

I, too, have a "Claire". A close female friend who, if things were different, could potentially be someone more. and like David, this stems from my wanting to make my own family happy. She's someone that they would love to have as my wife and mother of my children - for me to be settled with and for the security of having someone to look after me when I grow old. And I have questioned my own sexuality when I've entertained the thought of pursuing this possibility. But i know it will never happen.My family have been very supportive of my coming out and we are all very close. Though it'll be great to fulfill the unspoken wish of my parents, it's something that I will never be able to grant them. I do know that they will still be happy to see me settled with a fine man. Equally happy? That I'm not sure of. In any case, I don't want to live my life for them just as much as I don't want to have someone else live theirs for mine.Years have been devoted to finding out who I really am, and while it's still an ongoing process, I am definitely certain about one thing. What I am and what I am capable of. It's just that my heart beats slightly different to most.

PrettySweetBoy