Monday, April 30, 2007

Seeing Through Tears

Crying is part of life from birth onward.. Crying is revealed to be a relationship behavior designed for emotional connection, not simply for emotional release.

Once we view crying as a relationship behavior we have a way to make sense of it. We can then learn how it helps us get closer to each other and in that way heal from pain and grief. We can also come to understand what crying and inhibited crying reveal about the nature and quality of the therapeutic and other relationships. Finally, an attachment perspective on crying offers guidance to parents, teachers and other professionals in handling infants, children, loved ones and others when they cry.

Crying is attachment behavior, but not all crying is the same.“Tears as Body Language” and “transcendent” tears, which are a rare but significant type of crying that goes beyond personal loss to a sense of universal attachment and love.

Our social environment influences our crying behavior from the moment we are born.Men’s voices “crack” with emotion, their eyes “mist;” women “break down,” or “get hysterical” or “lose control.” Cross-cultural views of crying offer a valuable perspective for understanding our own biases and patients from different cultural backgrounds.
“ Why should I cry?” said Nick Nolte’s character to the psychiatrist played by Barbra Streisand in the movie Prince of Tides when she encouraged him to cry for his dead brother, “It won’t bring Luke back.” “No,” the psychiatrist replied, “but it might bring you back.” She was right--because crying is not about “getting rid” of a bad feeling, it is about bringing us into connection with someone who can be there for us and with us. Even solitary weeping, in those with “good-enough” attachments, brings us to remembered, internalized, fantasized or symbolic caregiving and comfort. In case the joy of love is not enough to keep us bound together--parent to child or mate to mate--painful separations up the ante in favor of connection. Crying helps avoid separations in the first place, bring them to an end where possible, or restore faith in the possibility of new connections if the loss is permanent.

Crying is also linked with depression. Some depressed people get stuck in an endless cycle of weeping while others are in a frozen dry-eyed state. Do medications really help?

looks at the spiritual and mystical aspects of weeping. Transcendent tears are not about longing or loss, but rather about belonging and love. These rare instances of crying go beyond personal loss to signify a connection with the whole of humanity, with all of nature, with the symbolic, the supernatural or the universe at large. Tears when astronauts first stepped onto the moon, when Rabin and Arafat met to discuss peace, or upon first seeing the sun shining on the top of Mount Everest or hearing Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy” are tears that flow for something bigger than ourselves and our own pain. They show that crying can travel full circle from loss to love. Most of the time tears get triggered because we feel pain and grief, but sometimes, if we are fortunate and attuned, we shed tears because we feel deeply, in body and soul, a true sense of love. Then we truly understand tears as connection.


Sunday, April 29, 2007

For You Are The One

For You Are The One

For you I would climbthe highest mountain peak

swim the deepest ocean your love I do seek.

For you I would crossthe rivers most wide

Walk the hottest desert sand to have you by my side.

For you are the one who makes me whole

you’ve captured my heart and touched my soul.

For you are the one that stepped out of my dreams

gave me new hope

showed me what love means.

For you alone are my reason to live

for the compassion you show and

the care that you give.

You came into my life and

made me complete each time I see you

my heart skips a beat.

For you define beautyin both body and mind

your soft, gorgeous face

more beauty I'll ne'er find.

For you are the one God sent from above

the angel I needed for whom I do love.


Thursday, April 26, 2007

"People get jealous when they are uncomfortable with who they are."

Jealousy can be destructive to a relationship. We're not talking about being jealous of your best friend's new relationship, or jealous that someone else got picked to start in the game instead of you. "Everyone has feelings of jealousy sometimes," . "Sometimes I'm jealous of people who get better grades, or who drive nicer cars." But jealousy in an intimate relationship is a whole different story

Why Be Jealous?

Why do people get jealous in the first place? Jealousy is often rooted in insecurity. "People get jealous when they are uncomfortable with who they are. "When you are not secure with yourself, anything seems threatening, like outside friendships or even crushes on celebrities." So, if you're worried that your girlfriend/boyfriend is about to run off with Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie , you may want to work on that self-esteem!

Jealousy Isn't Cute!

Some people think that jealousy is a sign of affection and love. But you should think again if your partner doesn't trust you to do things by yourself or to spend time with your friends. When someone starts tracking your every move and is in your face all the time about where you've been and whom you've been with, then it's time to rethink whether this is a healthy relationship."Possessiveness and controlling behavior are serious red flags that you are probably in a relationship that could turn dangerous,". Some warning signs could include

Your partner or friend wants to know where you are and whom you are with all of the time.
Your partner or friend makes you feel guilty for spending time with family or friends.
Your partner or friend thinks that innocent conversation equals flirting and gets angry about it.

On the flipside, if your sweetie doesn't get jealous when you talk to other people, or when you hang posters of hot celebs on your wall, it doesn't have to mean that she or he doesn't think or care about you! It may simply mean that your relationship is built on trust and respect.Talk It Out What if you think that you have reason to be jealous? Like, maybe you saw your honey cozying up to some cutie, and you felt a little knot in your stomach? That's normal. We take it for granted, even if we don't talk about it, that our serious, intimate relationships will be exclusive — not shared. But before you let feelings of jealousy take over, talk about it! "Don't take your feelings of insecurity out on someone else by being crazy jealous,". "Tell your boyfriend or girlfriend or friends that you feel uncomfortable with the situation."Chances are, if there is good communication in your relationship, you can work it out and keep that green-eyed monster far away!


Island in The Sun

Captain o captain
Only five miles ahead
There lies an island
Only five miles ahead
White hills and beaches
Something green in the blue
Captain o captain
So it all has come true
There’s an island in the sun
Come together everyone
Ahead lies an island
Now it’s september
We’ve been sailing so long
One summer one winter
Is this where we belong
Seems only a footstep
Into the setting sun
Our journey has ended
Or has it just begun
There’s an island in the sun
Come together everyone
Ahead lies an island
There’s an island in the sun
Come together everyone
Ahead lies an island
There they were...the islands.
Big ones, small ones, beautiful ones
And wasted ones . . . but wherever they went,
wherever they looked,
Wherever they put their feet...
only uninhabitable,
exploited, devastatedSands. . .
they encountered everything they meant to leave behind.
war...Poison... degeneration . . . love died a long time ago . . .

PrettySweetBoy- Phuket Trip

Keep Your Distance



The Meaning of Friendship

The Meaning of Friendship

A friendship

is like

a sailing ship

that glides upon the sea

Whose strength is in

the winds of change

no matter where she be
For even when

she's tossed

and turned

She manages to keep


For even

the storms of life, my friend

cannot sink

this boat
So remember this

O' friend of mine

when the winds

go 'to and fro'

Our Friendship

will sail

on and on

no matter where

we go!

Memory a good or bad thing?

You feel my pain you say though you still think I can smile.

To smile you still have to be happy in some way.

My happiness has gone away with the memories that are long gone with the smile i had.

The memories only makes me cry now for how much fun we had.

People try to cheer me up but has no effect since the loss feels greater then some people expect.

People say i just should leave it behind and go on.

But how to leave it behind if its one of the few things that keeps me want to be alive... and go on.

Its been a few years now but I've come a long way by now butstill I have the same pain as it seems like it happened yesterday.


Missing You

Missing You

My heart aches within from missing you,

My lips long for the feel of kissing you,

Right now all I need is to gently touch your skin,

To look into your eyes and see deep within,

Just one warm embrace,

Just to look upon your face,

Just one little touch,

From the one I love so much,

If I could gaze upon your smile,

For just a little while,

To know that you miss me too,

As I'm thinking of you,

To hear the sound of you breathe,

Knowing you'll never leave,

To see you walk up to me,

Then embrace you tenderly,

To just be with the one who's sent my heart reeling,

And brought about this downpour of emotion and feeling,

I sit here alone in my office tonight,

And pray that somehow this all turns out right,

I've never been one to do more taking than giving,

I'm not well off but I work hard for a living,

I've told you many thoughts that weren't borrowed or bought,

And in lifetime,

who would have thought,

That I have found someone who was just meant for me,

I can't explain the magic or why this should be,

But there is one thing that I know for certain,

That this just ain't over till one of us draws the final curtain,

For I've seen an angel and I want you to know,

If it's my choice to make,

I'll never let you go,

Don't know what life holds,

maybe there's no reason or rhyme,

To think you may be mine in a matter of time,

And though I cannot touch you and we are now apart,

My Love,

you do dwell,

so deep within my heart.

Love of My Life

Decicated To :

Love of My Life

I give my heart,
my affection,
my devotion,
and adoration to you.
People say that nothing lasts forever,
but they're wrong.
Some things are meant to be,
and I know that this love I feel for you will burn in my soul for the rest of my life.
I was born to be with you.
You are my first love,
and my real love;
you are my one and only,
and I give all of my love to you.