Friday, October 31, 2008

Boo !!!

It is the coolest day of the year today! I hope everyone has a great time tonight, whether you are trick or treating, taking your kids around the neighborhood, passing out candy or going to a wild Halloween party like me!

What ever you are doing be safe and drink responsibly, or eat candy responsibly. (check for razor blades in those candied apples!) AND NO VANDALISM.

I hope you aren’t just trying to get your costume together today!

Anyway have a good time and make this a memorable Halloween!


Sunday, October 26, 2008

(Dinner) Party of Seven

We had a dinner party yesterday night with five friends of us.The dinner party I have been nervously planning was a hit! and everyone got along fabulously!. One of DMG friends was bringing dessert so we both just had to focus on an appetizer, main dish.

The menu was a follows:

Appetizers: Fried Spring Rolls

Main Entree: Brisket by "DMG" her late mother recipe", Ha'lla bread , Chinese Fried Rice and my family signature dish " Daging Masak Hitam " ...

Dessert: Chilled Chocolate Cheese Cake and

Beverages included: White wine , Pops , tea and water.


Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Happy Birthday , ScorpGirl ...

Big ♥KISSES♥ for the Birthday GIRL!As they say, a year older, never the wiser.. oh that's my saying.. But anyway, live life to the fullest... have fun on your birthday...Hope you have a wonderful many years ahead my friend. hugs xoxo...


Tuesday, October 21, 2008

If You Are Not The One....

Daniel Bedingfield - If you are not the one - Daniel Bedingfield

If you are not the one by Daniel Bedingfield


Relationship mis•com•mu•ni•ca•tion

In times of relationship difficulties, I often turn to my friends and life mentors. I had a talk with my brother who has been together for eighteen years with his Dutch wife. They are a great couple…so much in passionate for each other. They would never have communication problems, I thought.“Relationships have ups and downs, it is a lot of hard work,” he said. That may explain why so many couples break up. He said the key was that no matter what they made their relationship their priority. So in all of their decisions (work, life, jobs, money) their relationship was part of the equation. Simple yet sensible...

Do you ever wonder why you can have such great communication with friends but not boyfriends? Why is it that your friends get you? Why is it that they can just read you…? Why is that if a friend says that they are too busy to see do not worry. But if your boyfriend says he needs time alone…it somehow translates into “I want to break up with you.”

“Gee knows me too well. She and I have no secrets."You are such a freaking victim and drama queen,” she said. Normally I’d take such comments very personally and I would be upset. I take everything personal…even if people say not to take it personal. Insecure? Yes…. But Gee, she was correct. I was like the poor maid in a Latin American soap opera. I was the Betty in Ugly Betty. I want everyone to feel sorry for me!!! The Jews may have guilt cornered but no one does the poor martyr/poor me girl like the Latinos!

My behaviour was having destructive implications on my relationship. All good things require effort.I still have to work hard at it, 2 years down the track. Worth it though :-)Well the path of true love never did run smooth after all :)

Um, I think that we're different with different people. My boyfriend acts very differently when he's with his friends and I'm sure talks to them about things that he'd rather not talk to me about. I don't mind, it's nothing for me to be jealous about. After all, I talk to my friends in a way that I wouldn't talk to my boyfriend. Each person in your life has a different role and the role of a friend is probably easier and less demanding than that of a sexual partner, lover etc.


Sunday, October 19, 2008

Sex or Relationship... Part 1

Which comes first: sex or relationship? It is the gay equivalent to the chicken or egg dilemma. Does one come after the other? And if you have one can you have the other? What about only having one?

I was having a discussion with my friend Kevin. He reckons that you should try out a man before you make any type of commitment. He believes that sex is the first relationship men have with other men…if it is good…dates, a relationship and even friendship follows. If it’s bad…you never see them again! He advocates that in the gay world, sex always comes first…and anything else follows. Most of Kevin’s friends are guys that he’s had sex with.

I could not help and wonder about this dilemma…so much of my interactions with gay men are sexual. When I first came out, I thought being gay was only about having sex. I remember my first few years as a gay man were all about getting close to men and I inevitably would have sex first and hope an emotional connection would follow. It usually never happened. Gradually, I learned to differentiate between sex and emotion. I am now able to have sex with no feelings or emotion with a total stranger. Of course, sex is better when you have an emotional connection with that person.

After a few years I realised it was not just about sex… If I liked the guy or thought it has potential of a relationship, I would wait to have sex with them. Usually I would wait 3 or 4 dates, although pashing on the first date was allowed. Delaying sex in some instances led to a relationship…at times it led to realising that I was not sexually compatible with the person.

Kevin does not wait. He says you can’t make gay men wait. You need to know if both of you are sexually compatible. Even if you like the person, if the sexual chemistry is not there….nothing will happen he says. It’s true that in gay relationships sex is a priority…but many couples do stop having sex and open their some couples make sexless relationships work.

Others only have sex…no relationships (hello..fuckbuddies). So maybe neither has to follow and you can have both sex or relationships.

But remember what drew two together may die and faced with that question "should I stay or should I go" may arise. Then you must ask yourself, Why did I get in this relationship, what matters the most? The answer will tell us just how superficial you really are, or it will tell us just how much you have matured in your life.



Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Today’s the day - GET OUT and VOTE!

Today is voting day in Canada.It is your democratic duty, get out and vote today.
Do not take it for granted, this is your country, this is your future.


Sleep Disturbia

I have no idea what sort of self destructive path my brain decided to take last night while I was asleep - but it was a shocker. I rarely remember my dreams, when i do, they’re nice happy dreams or dreams exploring things I may want to do etc etc… Last night however, was a completely different story. After waking this morning, I recalled two bad dreams!In my dream, my aunty she was dead and unknown guy, he was dead too.

If you have a bad dream about someone, are you supposed to call them and ask them “How have you been?” Are you supposed to keep it inside and let it calm down?


Saturday, October 11, 2008

Pre Thanksgiving Dinner

It’s Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada!! And that means turkey with all the fixin’s! YUMMY!!!This year for Thanksgiving, DMG and I are hosting a small family gathering at our new house. His father and his friends will be attending. It will only be 5 or 7 people.

So, back to my original reason for posting, and that was to wish all of my Canadian readers, family and friends a Happy Thanksgiving!Thanksgiving is this monday. It is a stat holiday in Canada - like everyone else, I enjoy a 3 day weekend.

Eat lots of healthy crunchy food, get outside and run and play, and find someone you love to cuddle with! Or at least someone who’ll help keep you warm.