Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Happy 50th Merdeka - Malaysia

tanggal 31 bulan lapan lima puluh tujuh
merdeka merdeka tetaplah merdeka
ia pasti menjadi sejarah

tanggal 31 bulan lapan lima puluh tujuh
hari yang mulia hari bahagia
sambut dengan jiwa yang merdeka

mari kita seluruh warganegara
ramai ramai menyambut hari merdeka

tiga satu bulan lapan lima puluh tujuh
hari mulia negaraku merdeka



You Don't Love Someone Because They Are Beautiful,
They Are Beautiful Because You Love Them.


Love Is The Condition In Which The Happiness Of Another Person Is Essential To Your Own

Almost there.......

You're almost there ...


Wednesday, August 22, 2007

They said what ?

Check out the following (in)famous and not-so-(in)famous quotes celebrating "the love that dare not speak its name":

"Simply the thing I am shall make me live."- Shakespeare

"It is better to be hated for what one is than loved for what one is not."- Andre Gide

"Love him and let him love you. Do you really think anything else under Heaven really matters?"- James Baldwin
"Two men can defy the world."- E M Forster

"I'm not willing to just be tolerated. That wounds my love of love and liberty."- Jean Cocteau

"I felt very close to God... My friends say that's because I was always on my knees."- Amistead Maupin

"Love, and do what you like."- St Augustine


What the heart wants ...

DVD marathon last nite, I came across an episode of big brother where gay housemate David was discussing his sexuality with the other female housemates.
David, once an international model who reportedly have had trysts with other models such as Kate Moss, now lives in the rural region of Australia as an organic farmer. He made headlines a couple of months ago when he came out on the reality television series, a revelation that was well-received by his fellow housemates. Lately though, there have been questions brewing about the truthfulness of his homosexuality, both inside and outside of the house. On last nite's show, David confessed to being offended when people asked about the possibility of him being straight since his coming out experience has been quite hard and, at times, traumatic. He wanted those he had told to know that it was for real. He admitted that at times he has made some comments about being attracted to other females. In particular, fellow housemate Claire whom he finds stunning and beautiful, which might have thrown others off. His attraction to Claire, according to David, stems from his need to please his family, as she is someone ideal who would fit in well with them. Someone who they would love to see him with to possibly start a family of his own. But he knows that this is something he would, and could, no longer pursue. regardless, his family, who all know he is gay, is supportive of whatever decisions David very much the same way, David's sentiments are exactly my own.

I, too, have a "Claire". A close female friend who, if things were different, could potentially be someone more. and like David, this stems from my wanting to make my own family happy. She's someone that they would love to have as my wife and mother of my children - for me to be settled with and for the security of having someone to look after me when I grow old. And I have questioned my own sexuality when I've entertained the thought of pursuing this possibility. But i know it will never happen.My family have been very supportive of my coming out and we are all very close. Though it'll be great to fulfill the unspoken wish of my parents, it's something that I will never be able to grant them. I do know that they will still be happy to see me settled with a fine man. Equally happy? That I'm not sure of. In any case, I don't want to live my life for them just as much as I don't want to have someone else live theirs for mine.Years have been devoted to finding out who I really am, and while it's still an ongoing process, I am definitely certain about one thing. What I am and what I am capable of. It's just that my heart beats slightly different to most.


Monday, August 20, 2007

Time To Celebrate

I will be moving to Toronto in September exactly when I was hoping.

Wow now the work begins, packing moving so much to do.

This afternoon I received terrific news, that both my hubby and I had been waiting to hear for about 6 months.

I'm coming to Toronto, I am so excited to be moving to the big city, to be with my hubby "DMG" will be awesome. For over a year we have done the long distance thing with regular trips to Toronto ,it will be great to spend quality time together.

This Boy is the happiest boy in KL , as he is leaving...


Thursday, August 16, 2007

Happy Birthday To My Beloved Hubby "DMG"...

First of all , Happy Birthday "DMG"!!! I hope your dinner party was awesome, wish i was there to celebrate with you and your friends in beautiful Toronto- best wishes!!

Well "DMG" is turning 52 today, so happy birthday to him!!!!

Special Birthday shoutout to my sexy hubby up in Toronto - Have a great birthday gorgeous.


Sunday, August 12, 2007

Ever Wonder

…where your guardian angel is? Who’s looking out for you?


Friday, August 10, 2007

Love changes everything?

They say that love changes everything…it does. No longer are you just thinking about yourself..but you find yourself planning your life around someone else. Then "DMG" came along…and love changed everything…I still enjoy seeing 7ft caucasian but now I have my very own caucasian man. No longer do I feel the need to escape to Europe & North America run away from reality or commitment.

My grandmother always says you should never say shouldn’t. Life is way too short. Change will send you in a different direction and hopefully I will have as much change next year as I had this year!


Monday, August 6, 2007

Spring Cleaning

In preparation for my upcoming trip to Toronto , I decided to do a bit of spring cleaning this week. I started going through my closet and my flat trying to get rid of clothes I no longer wear, books I will never read again and CDs that I will never listen again. There is something therapeutic about cleansing your home from unwanted belongings.I came to KL with only two suitcases. Nine years later I have accumulated an apartment full of clothes, memories, hopes and lots of stories. I like to think of myself as a minimalist. When I was younger, my mother would have quaterly and monthly cleanings. She is a big believer that you should throw out half of the things you own. We would never actually throw it out, just donate it to charity.So while I did a bit of Spring Cleaning (I wore that shirt… many pairs of Jeans do I need!). I took stock of my own emotional cleaning. In the last five weeks of detox, I have been trying to cleanse my body, mind and heart of some toxins and get rid of unsued feelings and emotional baggage. It was so refreshing to let go...A test of my detox was last Friday when I met up with Emm and his new boyfriend Jud. I had been in love with Emm earlier in the year but tragically he did not reciprocate those feelings for me.As I sat on one side of the table across from the happy couple, I realised how I had really thrown out my feelings for Emm, I was no longer in love with him. I was no longer jealous of Jud. I was just really happy for both of them…for finding each other…for sharing their company. They are really both meant for each other.The good thing about spring cleaning….is sale shopping! Filling the closet again. Spring cleanings are good for the economy. Toronto here I come! I'm so happy that I'm be leaving to Toronto in September not end of August as I've too many things to settle ... I'm lucky as most of the flight is fully booked on that day !!!! But I'm still going to be with my love one ... "DMG"


Reality Bites

Last night I met with the boys for a bit of midweek catch up on the long weekend. It had been an eventful weekend for all. There were dates to discuss, upcoming holidays and sex tales! Our talk somehow got serious… honesty and gay relationships. In an age when everyone is out of the closet and being gay is so passé, how honest are we with ourselves?That was the question that my friend Pat posed to the group. We all had to answer using a scale from one (very dishonest) and ten (very honest). Most of us answered somewhere in between. Maybe we were all answering the question dishonestly. There were no ten answers. I said seven or eight but in reality and in all honesty, I was more of a three or four.Our little truth or dare got me thinking...about my own honesty. I am out to my family, to my work mates and to my friends. Reality does indeed bite. Honesty is tough to come by…especially in the gay world. When everything is virtual and anonymous: cyber sex, cyber relationships, is hard to be and feel the real you. It is hard to say things like: I am lonely. I’m a sex addict. I fear intimacy. I want to be loved. Dating and relationships can be like a long spinning class. You pedal and pedal but you never go anywhere. What is worst is that we pretend to move but in reality we end up right where we started.Honesty in gay relationships can be a challenge. Many of us still have to hide the truth to others. In hiding the truth to others, we may hide the truth to ourselves. We learned from an early age to lead a double life, one gay and one straight. At times, we had to wear masks to hide the real and true person beneath. These are habits that are hard to change.Pat is very comfortable and honest with himself, his emotions and his feelings. Something refreshing and something to work towards! How honest are you?