Friday, March 28, 2008

DMG = Bundle of Emotions

I’ll try not to be too much of a downer, though I’m hoping that writing will quiet the conversations in my head. If things seem very vague, I apologize.

I’m not just talking about how much it sucks that DMG mother is dying, it also sucks that DMG and his father has to deal with DMG mother's dying. But I feel the worst for DMG as I can literally tell his heart is breaking. We all know it is coming, but like all the other inevitable deaths that I’ve had to deal with, knowing doesn’t make it any easier.Half of me just wants it over with, half of me is feeling like someone who keeps a pet alive because it’s what the owner wants, not necessary what is best for the pet. Sorry for comparing my mother in law to a pet.While I know that sitting here pining over the unavoidable isn’t going to change anything, I can’t stop thinking.

What is good, is that she is making her transition surrounded by her family who loves her.
Some days love hurts. But to never have love at all would be the worse existence imaginable.

DMG chose to love her mother , my mother in law, and in his love, he stands by her while she makes this final life transition. I’d be willing to bet that even though it hurts him, there is nowhere in the world he’d rather be. His family “deals with it,” not out of obligation, but out of love. Trust me, when my Mum & Gram was passing (I believe they called it “the active phase of dying”), those of us who were there were there because we wanted those precious last days to celebrate her life and to celebrate the fact that without her, we wouldn’t be there at all. It hurts like hell, but we endure.

DMG are an incredible, caring, sensitive, strong, and brilliant man.

I know DMG are angry, and that’s completely normal and expected. Blame is normal. Not understanding is normal. Unspeakable sadness is normal. Having a loved one pass is one of the hardest things the living have to deal with and it is never easy, not when there’s that much love involved.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Eddie, get well soon!

We wish you all the very best for a rapid recovery. Our thoughts are with you.


Monday, March 24, 2008

Marriage Partnership

I know one thing true: no one is perfect. And here’s the reality that flows from this difficult truth: even though our mate disappoints us and hurts us, we still are to respect and appreciate our imperfect spouse. How do we do this, in a practical sense? How can we honestly and sincerely respect and appreciate someone who is so imperfect?

Every spouse stumbles in many ways, if my spouse has a bad day, I realize he’s acting normally. This means that, instead of focusing on the occasional disappointment, I can be grateful for the positive acts of love: every spouse stumbles, but not every spouse acts so kindly toward the spouse who stumbles.

Disappointment and a lack of respect are often birthed out of unrealistic expectations. It’s not fair to compare your marriage to something you’ve seen in a movie or read about in a novel—that marriage isn’t real. And even if you see a seemingly ideal marriage at the hotel, civic centre and etc, you don’t know what’s really going on during less public moments.

This understanding gives me great appreciation for my spouse, who’s willing to engage in a difficult task with me. Even though it can be difficult, my husband has hung in there with me; we confess to each other, we forgive each other, and sometimes we have to learn to forget what each other did. What an amazing thing that another human being would do this with me instead of running away. You have to keep in mind that no man or woman is ever “on” all the time. This explains why your spouse can be so thoughtful, caring, and attentive one day, and so aloof, harsh, and critical the next. You have to give your spouse room to be a less-than-perfect human, to have bad days, “off” days, and “average” days……………..

Thank you my dear " DMG ", for everything!


Sunday, March 23, 2008

Happy Easter Everybody…

Hope everyone is having a safe and happy Easter Weekend and enjoying this long weekend with Friends & Family.


Rock Me? Yes, You Will

So I went to see We Will Rock You in Toronto last night with " DMG "–this would be the musical based on Queen songs, if you’re out of the loop. I honestly had no real idea what to expect, other than, hey, Queen is pretty much awesome and I absolutely love musicals, so where can you go wrong?

Oh, how I underestimated the possibilities for awesomeness here. This show took all of my favourite things in entertainment–big, overwrought emotions, quest stories, self-aware humour, singing and dancing, dystopia fiction, an overall non-conformist, anti-corporate social awareness/activist message AND a great feminist lead female character–and put them on a stage. With Queen songs.

Scaramouche–the main female lead–is my new hero. She was funny and sarcastic, and though the show makes Galileo (Figaro…again, heh) out as the “chosen one”, she never comes off as just his sidekick. She comes off as the one who attaches practicality to his dreams. She’s the computer whiz, he’s kind of all over the place. She constantly questions him when he pulls bullshit gender cards on him–replying to “I can’t have my ‘chick’ do my work for me” with “I’m sorry, at exactly what point in this relationship did you take the dickhead pill?” I had this moment of “Oh my God, these people actually understand this dynamic” when Galileo says something along the lines of “Why do you always have to play this bullshit feminist self-assertion stuff? I’m trying to SAVE THE WORLD here!” and she calls him out on his craziness and essentially says “And I’m not? I’d just like to do it and not be treated like a dog while it happens”. At which point my brain exploded.

In short, the performance really was excellent !!!


Saturday, March 22, 2008

I'm off to do some shopping!

It is hard to believe it is time to start shopping for spring clothes. I went shopping this morning.How is it that 3 such specific items cost me $135? In just over an hour?

Here is what I came home with :
  1. Gap Jeans

  2. Zara Pants

  3. Old Navy Multi Stripe Shirt

Friday, March 21, 2008

Two Words: Good Friday!

Can I just say that I have the best job in the world? I have today—Friday—off for Good Friday! Ironically, I woke up at 7.00am, ate breakfast and showered before heading to working place.
Hmm, what should I do for the rest of the day? Maybe another nap,working out at the gym, some work on a freelance project, and some reading. Who knows how the day might go! More later…


Thursday, March 20, 2008

The First Day of Spring

Welcome to the first day of Spring 2008! The first day of Spring is the day that the vernal equinox, which is when the sun is directly over the equator. Well, that happened at 1:48am, EST. So, Spring has sprung. Time to…plant flowers and unpack all those spring clothes! I love winter, it is always my favorite season, but looking out the window at the office today, seeing how sunny it was, and some of the trees are even blooming, it was nice. It made me wish that I was outside, and not sitting at a desk. Plenty of time for that this weekend, though. Well, after a quick venture outside, I realized that it is very windy, and because of that, pretty cold. Spring is in the air. I had a rough winter. And it was cold the last few weeks. Not only that, I suffered with congestion and flu… I succumbed to viruses. But now I’m feeling 100% back to a healthy state, and it’s Spring! Happy first day of Spring to all of you! I hope that many of you are having nicer weather than the windy treatment we are getting here in TO!!!


Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Are you Filipino?

The second most popular question I get asked after the traditional “Are you married?” Not that there is anything wrong with being Filipino. Some of the most attractive guys I know are Filipino….must be something about those amazing Asian genetics mixed with those hot Spanish looks.Over the years, I have been asked if I am Israeli, Greek, Lebanese, Arab…even Latino too! I guess people want to put you into a box..I look strange and different here so they want to automatically know where and what I am….I am glad to know that I am not the only one who likes to put people into boxes.


Friends. How many of us have them?

I’ve been thinking about friendships lately. How important they are and what friendship really means.

Most of us have childhood best friends, who we may have lost touch with over time. Some people come and go in and out of our lives so quickly, it’s hard to remember what brought you together in the first place. And, we all have acquaintances. Those are the people you are friendly to when you see them out and about somewhere, but don’t go out of your way to keep in touch with them.

That’s what has me thinking. The difference between acquaintances and friends. As I’m sure most people do, I have more acquaintances than I have friends. Let’s face it. It’s hard to stay in touch with all of the people we like. I mean, it’s a chore for me to talk on the phone. I honestly would rather send an email. But, somehow that’s not as fulfilling as a cozy phone conversation after weeks of phone tag or a night catching-up on each other’s lives over dinner and drinks.
Here’s the thing. I have true friends that I can count on less than one hand. There are a couple who will go above and beyond for me. I know it. And, there are a couple more who I consider good friends, but really, I know they’re not the definition of a true friend. People are selfish, as I am sometimes. They value their time, just as I do mine. Therefore, they’re only around when they want to be. And, I understand.

My husband is my best friend. I would rather be with him than anyone else on the face of this earth, next to my family of course. Combined, they are undoubtedly what keeps my faith, dreams and heart alive.

And, to the few of you who are my true friends, I love you. I would do anything for you at anytime. There are no ifs, ands or buts. Just like I know, you know too.

Find your true friends. All you need are a few :)


Sunday, March 16, 2008

Congratulations EDDIE on Your New Job!

It has been a few weeks since my last entry. I have been busy with work…this week I have actually had to no time for my personal writing and blogging.

Someone from our extended gymfreak family just " YM " to tell me that he got a new job. Wuhoo! While I played absolutely no role in his getting the job, I love sharing in the good news.
All the best to you Eddie!


Monday, March 3, 2008

Being Sick Sucks...

That’s pretty much all I have to say about that. Cheers.


Saturday, March 1, 2008

Fun at Jockstrap Auction ...

Last nite was " DMG " TGHA Jock Night - so we went to Pucks & Balls & Cups :: Annual Jock Auction. We had a blast at the Jockstrap Auction night at Alibi.

Ps : Uooolllsss menarik bangat !!!


Argument Anatomy...

Arguments can strike like a rattler in the brush; in seconds you find yourself aching from poisoned words. The Argument Anatomy will help you understand argument components and diffuse the fuss.

The Emotion. No matter who said or did what, emotion is the stuff that boils your blood. Anger, jealousy, rejection, resentment can hijack your relationship and ruin the day.

The Need. The need to prove you are right. "I did tell you large can of tomatoes not a small one, now dinner's ruined." "I did say I'd be gone Saturday afternoon you just did not hear." When the need to prove grows stronger than the need for relationship you lose at love.

The Event. What set off the fireworks: the forgotten call, the uncapped toothpaste for the hundredth time, or the socks on the floor. The event triggers the emotions that set up the need to prove you are right.

The Issue. The true reason for fighting: you felt unheard, ignored, belittled, or criticized. It is not the toothpaste cap that set you off, it is feeling he never cares about you; it is not your reminder to mail the letter, it is that he fears criticism.

What To Do Cool the emotion - call time out until the emotions settle down. Next, drop the need to be right. You can be right or relational, make a choice. If you always insist on being right, in ten years you may be right out the door.

Next, apologize for the event. Just say it, "Forgive me for leaving my socks out." Finally, discuss the issue not the event. After you apologize for the event, seek out the true issue. "Did I make you feel neglected?" "Did you feel criticized?" If the answer is yes, apologize and work on erasing the issue.

Ps : Now I suggest you read it and you'll start to improve with age!!!