Thursday, January 31, 2008

How much do you actually trust people?

Good morning all out in blogland. This week was interesting because alot of people I am close to are going through trust issues in their various relationships on various levels. It brought on question to mind is” How much do you actually trust people?” Now I know there are some who say they trust some with their lives, but do you really. After in human nature it is survival of the fittest, right? Now before you call me cold and indifferent actually think about it. There are a few I would trust with my life but those people are my family( family, husband, best friends) because I would help them when they need. But in a intimate relationship, where do you gauge your trust? Do you worry about whether they will call you? do you worry if they are with someone else? do worry that they may be lying to you at all times? When those questions pop up, maybe you should analyze yourself and why you would be with someone like that where you are constantly asking yourself those kind of questions. In business relationships, the trust factor is a little different because usually money is involved and your reputation is on the line. I have dealt and are currently dealing with some very upstanding individuals and I have dealt with those who are quite shady and unreliable. Trust is definitely something that needs to be earned but every-time someone messes with it, they withdraw alot more than they put in with you.

I will say personally I trust most individuals as far as I can throw them and I mean that especially if you are someone new to me. I don’t come off cold or indifferent. I greet you as warmly and openly but I can’t say of the bat that you will be cool with me. I’m a big believer in vibes I get from people and my honest perception of you and I guarantee there are still some individuals I can’t stand to have around me but I don’t show it.


Love Without Expectation !!!

I’ve been reading the book, about recognizing the pitfall of taking offense to things and people in our life. I’ve seen this as an area of need for me. I’m a relatively emotional person that can be easily offended.

We have to learn to love without expectation. Most the time our love flows out of what we can get from a relationship. If we love with an expectation, we set ourselves up for offensive. More often then not, people are not going to act and react how we expect them to. If we relinquish them from that expectation and love them just because then we’ll be less likely to have our feelings hurt.

I once heard it said, “Love is not an investment, it’s a gift.” Do you recognize this in yourself? Do you cultivate relationships that have high expectation? What are your thoughts?


Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Happy or Sad !!!

A friend asked me to think about both the happiest day of my life. I have to admit it took me a while to think about happy days. It is not like I’ve been sad, but lately I feel like I’ve been on automatic pilot and feeling rather indifferent about life in general. Is that a bad thing? I wondered if there was something wrong with me…and the fact that I could not recall a day in the last few months where I felt “happy.”

Maybe there was a happiness drought in Canada. Statistics do show that one in four Canadian is suffering from depression. But even higher rates are living unhappy lives.

I am in relationship, great friends, a stable job and good health…why wasn’t I staticly happy? I couldn’t help but think about all those poor people in Africa …they only had enough food for one meal a day but I wondered if they were happy? At times they looked happier than people here in Canada.

An African woman said Africans did not suffer from depression or anxiety (western diseases she said) because of the strong family connections. Many Africans live at home until they get married, but many more live with their extended families in the same house or town. She said Westerners were very selfish…and that selfishness led them to live alone and isolate themselves from the community. And that cause depression. I wondered what she would think of the gay community? did that count?

She had a point. My happiest memories revolve around being with family…being with important people in my life..people I love…and to a certain extent I’ve always felt a degree of loneliness in Canada...a lack of connection…and a lack of family….

I have isolated incidences of feeling disconnected being away from my family. but i am reminded of the choice that i made and the freedom and quality of life that i truly want. its a tradeoff and i feel i am much happier now.

After our talk, I looked up at the sky and felt the winter air…a beautiful winter day…and definately a happy day.


Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Salam Takziah

Setiap kita akan menemui dan merasai kematian. Kehilangan orang yang kita sayang amat memilukan hati. Namun ia sudah menjadi lumrah alam atas jadian-Nya.

Ucapan takziah buat abang ipar , Azman serta keluarga yang berada di Sarawak diatas pemergian ayah tersayang sekitar jam 7 pagi pada tanggal 28.01.2008. Semoga Azman dan keluarga kuatkan semangat dan tabahkan hati dengan dugaan serta ujian dari-Nya dalam meneruskan perjalanan kehidupan ini.

Saya doakan agar ayah kepada abang ipar aku, Azman akan ditempatkan bersama sama dengan orang-orang yang beriman dan semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat.

~ Al-Fatihah ~


Monday, January 28, 2008


A 14-Day Celebration of Big City Fun! January 25 to February 7, 2008.

The WinterCity Festival presented by RBC is a city-wide celebration of Toronto's incomparable diversity of spirit bursting with culinary experiences, a hot blaze of free entertainment and a showcase of this city's vibrant arts scene
Forget the weather and join the party in the world's coolest winter city!

Netherlands' Troupe Theatre Gajes present their own take on Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland at Nathan Phillips Square. It was a beautiful show and I highly recommend checking it out if you haven’t already.They have two more performances next weekend, and it's free!


Fun With DMG Friends

Last Saturday was DMG Ice Hockey Playoff party - so I went to the party with him. We had a blast at the GAY Ice Hockey night at Rob beautiful Lounge - Cik jah , balik umah pukul 2 pagi cik jah , very the penat uooolllss ...


Sunday, January 27, 2008

AJL Ke-22

I love lagu " Itu kamu " .... memang best bangat ... I salute them , I mean the band ... The vocalist and the drummer very the lazat uooolllsss !!! Congrats to " Estranged "& TV3 for a brilliant show... Its about time for song as fresh and new like this to be recognized and awarded.. Good for the industry.. Job well done !!!


Friday, January 25, 2008

Masak With Chef LOLA !!!

LOLA's - Style Fried Chicken

Today nye resepi very the simple , fried chicken !!! I love ayam so much ok , so this time I nak masak western style... It only take me 30 mins to get everything done. So I serve it with pickles, broccoli & mashed potatoes...


Thursday, January 24, 2008

Rest In Peace

He may not be my favourite actor but nevertheless I can state - he's a very talented actor, and definitely had a superb performance as Ennis in Ang Lee's Brokeback Mountain a few years back.According to the news, the Hollywood star was found dead with sleeping pills near his naked body in his New York apartment, police said. He was 28.The Australian-born actor's body was discovered on Tuesday by his housekeeper at around 3:30pm after she went to tell him a masseuse had arrived for an appointment, New York police department spokes- man Paul Browne said.Police said they didn't suspect foul play and Ellen Borakove, a spoke- swoman for the city's medical examiner's office, said an autopsy was planned for yesterday.
Mara Buxbaum, the star's publicist, said: "We are all deeply saddened and shocked by this accident. This is an extremely difficult time for his loved ones and we are asking the media to please respect the family's privacy and avoid speculation until the facts are known."At the scene, a police spokesman said the actor was found naked at the foot of the bed, face down. Prescription drugs, including sleeping pills, were found nearby and there was no evidence of a party. No suicide note was found.

In Australia, Heath's father Kim spoke of his family's grief and said the death was accidental."He was down to earth, generous, kind hearted, life loving unselfish individual extremely inspirational to many," Mr Ledger said.Heath was an Oscar nominee for his role in Brokeback Mountain. He met his former fiancée Michelle Williams in 2005 while filming the movie, and they had a two-year-old daughter, Matilda, before splitting last year.
He was to appear as the Joker this year in The Dark Knight, a sequel to 2005's Batman Begins.

Sunday, January 20, 2008



On March 29, 2008, the City of Toronto will join cities around the world in literally "turning out the lights" for Earth Hour, a World Wildlife Fund (WWF) event to raise awareness about climate change and symbolize that, working together the people of the world can make a difference in the fight against global warming. Officially announced in December 2007 at the United Nations Climate Change meeting, Earth Hour has grown from a single event in Sydney, Australia in 2007 to a global phenomenon that will occur across six continents and as many as 20 cities in 2008.
Toronto will be the flagship city in Canada to commemorate Earth Hour 2008. Our goal is to get thousands of businesses and individuals to participate in this historic event, so we can show the nation and the world that Toronto is a leader in addressing climate change, one of the most critical issues facing our world today. Make a difference, sign up today at and make a pledge to turn off yours lights when Earth Hour arrives on March 29. Persuade your friends, co-workers and your employer or employees to do their part.


Saturday, January 19, 2008

Winter Collections

Adding to my current winter nye collection , I dapat another hadiah from "DMG" for our 1st wedding anniversary, a new winter coat... I suke the kaler as I love brown or anything to do with earth kaler , that why my working shirt I dapat from "DMG" for my anniversary gift pung dark brown with chocolate stripes , paling I suke the chinese cuff links... So I decided to get new mufler nanti to match with my new winter coat ... berangan nie , nak beli burberry nye scarf to match the coat... Anyway , I like it very the muccchhhhh !!! Boo , my winter coat collection ... biase je !!!


Our 1st Wedding Anniversary

Anniversary gift from "DMG" - Working Shirt

Dual wake clock radio with CD player for "DMG"

Today January 19 , is our 1st year wedding anniversary... Tak sangka uoolllss dah setahun I with "DMG"... so I belikan "DMG" dual wake clock radio with CD player as he really need one as the old alarm clock kaputt... Seronok sangat as he love the gift very mucccchhhhh !!! Will story you guys what I get for my wedding anniversary very sooon.... tunggguuuuu tau !!!

Me & "DMG"


"When two people promise faithfully, live hofefully, and give lovingly, they share the greatest joy in life."

I love you so deeply,
love you so much,
I love the sound of your voice
And the way that we touch,
I love your warm smile
And your kind, thoughtful way,
The joy that you bring
To my life every day -

I love you today
As I have from the start,
And I'll love you forever
With all of my heart.

Happy 1st Anniverssary


Thursday, January 17, 2008




Canadian Idol - Eye on Idol

It's time to warm up your singing voice! Canadian Idol is heading out on another cross-Canada talent search, kicking off on Jan. 26, 2008.
The cross-country audition tour will hit ten cities in seven provinces, scouting out the nation's next singing star.


'American Idol': It's baaa-aaaaack!

All right, it's season 7 of American Idol. There's a lot of talk about changes, but let's just watch and see, shall we?
We're in for hours and hours of auditions, not my favorite part, but such is life.


Happy Happy !!!

Birthday Boy " Tony "

I bet you had a lot of fun celebrating your birthday !!! Hope you have a fantastic time gorgeous !!!



That's how my scenic view of my train ride everyday nak gi keje uoollls. Best bangat !!! Motivating beauty and they made my tight jeans even tighter ... hah ha ha aha ha ... Sebab tu I suka naik subway , macam - macam adaaaaaaaa !!!



I have been MIA (missing in action) with the skin allergies! Thanks for all the good wishes. I ingat kan skin itchy due to cold cuace kat sini , as my skin get sangat kering uoolls... so I pakai le pelbagai jenis lotion , nan adoooo nye elok , no improvement at all ... so gi jumpa doctor so he advise me to take "Antihistamine" , so I pung makan le Cik Jah the obat , rupa-rupa nye my allergy due to my food consumption , but till today , I masih tak tau what I makan yang tak betul yang cause my skin nye allergies. Now I dah OK back so leh le hupdate my blog balik ... 2nd reason why I have been MIA ??? Busy with my kerja uooolllss , banyak sangat deadline to meet and last nite je I balik umah @ 12am ... tapi yang best nye balik malam , tak ramai orang kat subway , so tak berebut uoolllsss , nanti I story uoolllsss pasal the train ride masa nak gi kerja in the morning ... cuci mate , I very the sukeeeee uooolllls .... tunggguuuuuuu tau !!!!


Sunday, January 6, 2008

Coffee Time

Today is our 1st day for pilates class. Both of us masuk pilates coz nak hilang kan tummy , tummy trim uoollss... Very the kelakar today as in the class , I asyik gelak je tengok gelagat DMG !!! Dia pun sama asyik gelak je tengok orang lain buat...Balik je dari our pilates class , we all singgah beli donuts kat Tim Hortons , 20 packs , macam macam flavour uoollsss ... from chocolate , strawberry , cinnamon and etc... Macam ne nak hilang kan tummy uoollss , lepas class pilates je melantak donut... Nan adoooooo !!!


Masak with Chef Lola !!!

Dah kebulur from jalan jalan cari carpet , Cik Jah .... I pung sibuk le nak masak for our dinner , so today I nak masak very simple je , sebab dah penat from keluar , masuk kedai carpet. Fried Mee Hoon as main dish and Stir Fried Shrimp Egg Roll Wraps with Sweet Chilli Sauce dip as appetizer. DMG likeeeee it very the much !!!


New Year: New Blog?

Yesterday , DMG decided to get new runner for the hallway , so we both decided to do carpet shopping... kat sini same je kat Malaysia uooollss , tauke carpet kalau tak India,Pakistan,Arab atau Bangla. Keluar & masuk kedai carpet , tak ade yang menarik , so we decided not to beli at this point of time , as I cakap kat DMG , we beli if we both like the design and the carpet is nice & soft , and not beli for a sake of beli the carpet... so DMG pun setuju le kat wife dia.... adooooooo !!! Sebab tak ade carpet yang menarik , we both decided to buy groceries , so tunggu ye , Chef LOLA in action again nak masak for our dinner. Tunggguuuuuuuu!!!


Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Looking Back & Foward !!!

Looking Back

To my surprise, I've achieved a lot more than I thought in the past twelve months and here is the recap.My ultimate achievement has to be my great adventure in Toronto , Canada. For the past 4 months, I've lived, worked, played, and travelled like a Torontonian . Although in the beginning it was kinda tough to start my new life in a new environment, but as time went by, I grew to appreciate the rich, carefree culture, and the natural beauty of the country, and not to mention the stunning Canadian men!
As most of you knows, my second achievement of 2007 is I'm no longer single and the best part, I'm married! Yay! Thanks to my 'friend', I finally know what it feels like to be in the relationship with a man for the first time. He is as nice a guy as you'd ever want to meet. To this, I thank him for his time and his honesty, and what he has shown and given me.

Looking Foward

Another year ends….where did it go? I love New Year’s Eve in Toronto and last night was fantastic…a cold night, good friends and a great way to see the new year! New Years is all about hope…hope that the new year will be better and about letting go…letting go of the past.It is a strange holiday…fireworks and drinking on the last day of the year. Why celebrate at all? Standard celebrations of New Year’s Eve started in the 1900s. Most countries use some sort of firework celebration and there are lots of fancy devices that are dropped to signal the beginning of new years.Many countries have their own celebrations with many cultures being supertisicious about what you need to do at the strike of midnight.

New Years come and New Years go,Pieces of time all in a row.As we live our life, each second and minute,I know I'm privileged to have YOU in it.My appreciation never ends,For my greatest blessings, your family and friends.